I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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