you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
