My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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