We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she smelled like a LAN party
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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