How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
