trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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