Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
