you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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