i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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