I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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