YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
