He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
