He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
