Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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