Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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