David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
