So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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