That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's like God shit irony all over that family
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
