its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
