I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
