I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
