I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
