I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
