Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
