Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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