its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
