i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
