Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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