she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
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