This house was built for laser tag.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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