yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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