I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
