Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
