My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
