I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
