Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he was CRYING into my vagina
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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