is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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