i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
