HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
