i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
