what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
