We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
