is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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