I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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