I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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