Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
