You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
