On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
they need to just BURY HIM!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
