OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
from now on my penis is your penis
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
