she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
